God the Drug

I’m sitting here reading Chapter 17 of Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley and I am blown away. In a world that seeks only happiness I see so little of it. The man in this book, the only real man, is defending God against happiness and everything that he is saying fits perfectly.

I get the feeling that most people do not see God for the pain and suffering that he brings. They only want to see the happy side of God and they thing think that they can be happy at all times. But the only way to always be happy all the time is to be on a flat smooth emotional plain. Drugs try to find this plain and people think that the answer will come in only seeing what they want to see but this is not the way to go. It is not the way for me. I have a feeling that if more people saw God as no so happy a being or as Job sees God as the true giver and take of everything. If only they saw god as the emotional mountain range that he is. I feel like too many people get hung up on the good side of God that when they finally find his bad side that they think that it is something wrong with them and they try to force it away rather than embrace it. There is something to be said about the idea of embracing pain. You embrace God, with the pain, and see a truer side of yourself when you are being pushed to the ends of the earth.

I have been told by many believers that I ask some hard question. And they leave it at that or tell me that I must find out on my own. Everybody must find out on their own, this I know, but I do not find enough people even trying (I have been blessed to see ones that are trying). I see more people drugging themselves with God rather than looking him in the eye and asking him the hard questions and suffering the consequences. I will never be a slave to God the Drug but I will always try to walk by the creator of all things, the binding force of the universe. I was not conditions to follow blindly.

I got tagged

10 Years Ago:
1. My dad recently passed away.
2. My mom my two brothers and I were moving out of my mom’s two bedroom apartment into a house with my grandmother.
3. I was missing the forest house we had been kicked out of by my dad’s parents (long story).
4. I was about to start middle school with no friends.
5. I dropped out of boy scouts (again a long story).

5 Years Ago:
1. Early high school sucks
2. I was starting to come out of the mental haze I had been in for five years.
3. Missing the dream of the forest and wanting to run to it.
4. I was hating the world and plotting ways of blowing up the icons of this civilization.
5. I learned to love the beauty of logic.

1 Year Ago:
1. I was on a mountain.
2. Learning the way that life should be.
3. Learning about love.
4. Learning about God.
5. Finding finally the place that I fit the best into.

Yesterday:
1. Missing the forest. The forever repeated theme of my life.
2. I finished a book that changed much of my outlook on life.
3. I started another book that I’m sure will do the same.
4. I played a great game of Ultimate
5. I watched a very addicting TV show with good friends after we tried to learn to do back flips.

Now:
1. I’m not warring underwear because I did not feel like putting on a dirty pair (I hate doing laundry).
2. I fixed the radiator of my car only to find another larger problem.
3. I’m convincing myself that I will not get up to the mountains the way I had hoped to.
4. Realizing how little time I have before school.
5. Paying rent.

5 Snacks I Like:
(“Everything in moderation”)
1. Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked Ice Cream.
2. Ben and Jerry’s American Pie Ice Cream
3. Cheesecake
4. Dried Cranberries
5. Gram cracker dipped in water to soften it (I did it as a child and never got out of the habit)

5 Songs I Know All the Words To:
(Some of these I’m not sure how I know all the words to)
1. Sailing Away – Styx
2. Life on Mars? – David Bowie
3. Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen
4. When I Fall – Barenaked Ladies
5. Eli, The Barrow Boy - The Decemberists

If I had a Million Dollars:
1. Pay off School
2. Go to Alaska and convenience some people that I should be allowed to build a cabin by hand in the wilderness and live there for some years (That might not take any money but it would help).
3. Buy a place for my mom my aunt and my grandma. (Other than the place they have now. To much up keep).
4. Find some unknown writer and publish their work (Possibly my brother or my mom).
5. Build a trebuchet to throw my car a half mile. Then get an old WWII motor cycle with a side car.

5 Things I Would Never Wear:
I’ve got nothing. I’d wear just about anything once but some of the S&M apparel does kind of freak me out.

5 Favorite TV Shows:
In no particular order
1. Quantum Leap
2. Star Trek TNG (I blame my father for that one)
3. MacGyver (Again my dad)
4. Modern Marvels
5. Gray’s Anatomy (That was Kalen’s falt)
It has been a long time since I watched any TV

5 Bad Habits (or what others tell me)
1. Not seeing what is right in front of my face.
2. Not being content with where I am.
3. Not telling people when I get hurt.
4. Not doing laundry (I hate doing laundry)
5. Dipping my gram crackers in water (Guess that is not so bad).

5 Biggest Joys:
1. Being in the forest.
2. Sitting a talking with good friends late into the night (Usually best around camp fire or with coffee in hand and pink flamingo light to see).
3. The light in somebody’s eye when they finally understand a hard concept.
4. Working with my hands.
5. Catching a Frisbee over my head when I am at a full sprint

5 Fictional People I Would Want to Date:
1. Aviendha – From Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time
2. Beatrix Kiddo – Kill Bill
3. Leelu – The Fifth Element
4. Cat Woman
5. Looking at this list I see that they are all women that will either get me killed or in a huge amount of trouble. Probably not a good thing. But hey it is fiction, death is never real in fiction.

5 People I Tag to Do This:
1. Eddie
2. Caleb
3. Jennifer
4. Fish
5. Emily
Sadly I do not think that any of these people read my blog. As far as I know there are only two of you guys.