Frustrated

Fuck. Man it has been a long time sense I said that word. It feels so good sometimes just to let it out. Few words do that better that Fuck. FUCK. Ah such a raw soothing sound. I have been reminded of a dream I had in the past. It was the dream of picking up and moving deep into the forest and building myself a cabin with my hands and living off the land until I die. I always thought it was a good idea until I started to enjoy people more. But I was reminded why I wanted to do it in the first place. Drama.

I hate how the human species interacts with itself. The whole thing is twisted and messed up. The human system is no exception to the laws of thermodynamics. The more structure one tries to put into their life the more chaos they must cause in the world around them. It takes so much energy to order everything and keep it that way. I hate the fact that statistics can rule over us so easily.

People get so mad at each other for no good reason. Because one does not see that they were hurting the other. Because everybody has such a crapy time at putting themselves in others shoes. What the hell are you all doing? We sure as hell aren’t walking around bear foot. Perhaps that is what we all need to do, just rip off the shoes and let our true colors fly. Perhaps then we will see that we all get cut by the same broken bottles and the same cool water sooths all of our weary feet.

The problem as I see it is reality. It is far too common an assumption that reality is a singular thing. That there is only one reality. I say that is crap and simple cannot be. Reality is defined as the quality of being true. How can everybody say that they know the truth when everybody has a different truth? I say there is not truth that will satisfy all. There will always be somebody that can deny the truth of anything. Therefore nothing can be true. How then can I call myself a believer in God, is God not truth? God is truth for me but that is just me. God is simple another name for truth, a few more attributes than that but at its core that is what it is. Everybody has a truth even if they call it by a different name. The only thing that bothers me is when people ignore their truth. I never have understood why people don’t like when others disagree with them. It never made sense to me. I’m okay with people disagreeing with me because they are not in the same reality as me and they never can be, but at least they are looking for something and know where they stand.

So fight, bicker, and argue. Just don’t let it become drama. Don’t let it linger. Life is not about moving the same path to the same point. It is about cutting your own path and seeing where you end up. I think I will wait a bit on my retreat to the forest. that it is posible is son told us that our sins were forgiv